Monday night

Don't have much time before I have to take my sleeping potion. Wrote an extensive email to my cousin Marion, the librarian.

Sadly, the Brazilian model who had blood poisoning (septicemia) and had to have her hands and feet amputated, died.

Had a nightmare during my nap after work, but will have to relate that later. Time to take sleep aids. If I write anything after this, it will probably be kooky and I'll have to delete it tomorrow. But I'll probably write something.

Here goes. I haven't had a dream this vivid in a while. It was so bad that at the end of the dream, while I was still dreaming, I said to myself, this is just a bad dream, and I woke up. (I've done this before.)

The dream centered on my mother (deceased) and a friend of hers (someone named Delores), a divorcee who lived in the house she won in her divorce settlement but which at the present time was in disrepair. There was an algae-infested swimming pool which occupied part of the interior of the house, and the water in it was apparently backed up. There was a concrete walkway across the pool that led to the kitchen, and the walkway was submerged in water a few inches and full of disgusting algae.

Delores and my mother had picked me up from work and brought me back to Delores's house. Apparently they had a few cocktails afterward and Delores was passed out in her bedroom. Meanwhile Delores's kids et al. had gone out and bought groceries for dinner, and I was expected to cook dinner. I refused to cook dinner since I refused to walk across the submerged, algae-infested walkway to the kitchen, and told them I wanted to go to a nearby bar for Happy Hour.

After they'd picked me up from work, back at the house I had changed into some thin corduroy pants and worn-out plastic shoes. I wanted to go to Happy Hour and was looking for my own pants and my black moccasins, which apparently I'd left in a bathroom or somewhere while I was changing. I couldn't remember exactly where and was searching. I was looking at my watch and wanted to get to the Happy Hour before 9:00.

Right about then, as I was trying to find my clothes, the house was invaded by Right-wing Christian Fundamentalists shooting machine guns. I thought I was going to die in gunfire. Purportedly they were invading the house because it was a biohazard. They were wielding plastic-looking weapons. They shaved the cats (including my cat, Lucky) on the muzzle (and I think on the rump also) and stuck biohazard stickers on them. The person in charge of this invasion was a white woman with short blond hair, but there was also a black woman and others, milling around.

At one point I asked the white woman whether she would mind if went into one of the bathrooms to look for my moccasins and pants, and she said yes. We weren't allowed to leave their sight. Meanwhile, Delores was still passed out in her bed.

I felt bad for Lucky since he'd been shaven and had the sticker on his face, and went over to comfort him. Then I realized I wasn't comforting Lucky but another cat, whose organs were falling out through his abdomen, where the skin was paper thin and opening up, but I didn't say anything. Then I found Lucky again and was reassuring him, and at about that time I said this has to be a bad dream and woke up.

I think one if not two of my former partners were in the dream also, and my brother too.

It was very disturbing and I was glad to wake up and for it to be over. I then got dressed and had tea at Starbuck's.

[Tues. Update: I left this pretty much as is.]