Tuesday night

Tonight I visited B. at his place of business. He seemed fine. Everything's patched up between him and the BF. (He said they both had had too much to drink at the beach on Sunday.) B. said the BF had never threatened to kick him out before. If he's OK with everything, I'm not going to worry. He also said he would be allowed to stay at his mom's for two weeks (per year, I guess). Last night I was really rattled (after talking yesterday with B.'s friend--she'd brought up the ongoing domestic problems) but I'm OK now. I also gave B. the number of a gay men's domestic abuse hotline. I know that B. is not violent, but I got the impression from B.'s friend that the other one was. She told me she worries about his well-being in that situation, which only made me worry. (And she said she talks to him every day.) She even warned me not to call B. on his cell yesterday in case the other one might be around (he doesn't work--and has two boys) or, I guess, discover my number on his phone. (I'd already been warned by the BF not to call B., so I wasn't about to.)

If the guy has two boys (as I found out today), I don't see what's in it for B. The boys will be looked after (in whatever way) before B. ever is. Judging by the BF's calls on Sunday, B. is disposable (and, no doubt, replaceable). (Maybe B. doesn't realize this yet.) (Love is blind?)

I myself was in an abusive relationship and (at work) called a hotline based in San Francisco and ended up getting professional counseling here in town. The counselor said to move out -- that things wouldn't get any better. I did move out shortly afterward, after the BF threatened my cats. (He said, "Don't be surprised if you come home someday and your cats are gone.") I immediately went out and got an apartment, right on Arch Creek, by the way, with manatees and all.

I'd lived on Arch Creek years earlier, before Hurricane Andrew. I was on the ground floor (it was only a two-story building), and Andrew was supposed to hit here, near the county line. I was ready for a flood. Then Andrew made land farther south.

I'm back to not trusting B., which is a good sign my own self-preservation is kicking back in. (And here I'd felt so bad for him.) If I were the BF, I wouldn't trust B. either, considering how the BF was able to lure B. away from here. (Perhaps B. could just as easily be lured away by someone else.) (Maybe that's why the BF keeps him on a leash.) But I trust the BF even less. I'm not a player in this game, however. I need stability. I can't deal with the drama.